Triple-Stamped, No Erasies

Hokai, so, I had a job, selling mattresses, but I don't any more. So I have a lot of free time to look forward to these next few months of unemployment. See, I'm terrible at personal discipline, so this is a problem. Seriously, I've watched Star Wars twice in one day, just because I started with the first one! It's not inherently evil, sure, but there's a certain point where inactivity warps you and you discover that all you've got left to prove your existence is a broken-in couch.

I don't want that for me. I want adventure , so this blog will stand as a re-branding of, well, me, as an adventurist. The idea is, have this as a public record of what I do, which will also give me reason to do adventurous things... like, I dunno, parkour or something (please no parkour, for the love of God). I'm also writing a novel, so the plan is make this blog wildly successful over the next few years (well, overnight would be great, but I am still pretty lazy).

Successful to the point at which people say "Hey, I love your words and want you to lie directly to me, but not on the computer, can you write a novel?" To which I shall respond, "Why yes, of course; here it is!"

And they'll throw money at me (and claim I can see the future, which I of course will not correct) until I can retire and do nothing whatsoever with my life. To the casual analyst, it would seem that I plan on taking a very long route to the same place (why not just skip the writing and the blog, and just do nothing but maybe working crap jobs?). However, they would be forgetting one thing: I have to feed my ego.
Yup, there it is. I like to think I'm important.

That there's my life plan. Subject to change at the drop of a hat, of course (see the rules... listed somewhere).

But, I want to write daily in this blog, because otherwise people will just forget that it exists (seriously, that's how it is with me). The catch is, I get bored, and I lose focus. My solution is to have seven subjects I can address in any given entry. Seven things I feel I can write about entertainingly (totally a word; suck it, dictionary!) enough to actually get people to read all the way through things and again, make them buy my book once it's written.

Here are the ideas I have so far:
1) Mind-jobs (at some point, I will try to convince you that circles don't exist)
2) Principles of a Dignified Life (living by a code, so to speak... seriously... like, tip even when you're poor)
3) Outright Lies (storytelling, of the freeform variety because thick fiction doesn't mix with the interwebs)
4) Cultural Analysis (how Star Wars episodes 1-3 should have been, and the implications of Twilight)
5) Adventureblogging (doing stupid shit for attention, like, unplanned bike trips)
6) People-Hacks (like life-hacks, but with people... manipulating people)
7) Beginner's Luck (I try something with little to no preparation or experience in it, like building a chair)
8) anything else

And lastly, I'll leave you, dear reader, with this thought: click on the ads!! please for the love of God, click on the ads! I don't care what they're for, just click on them; that's how I can make money out of this! Click multiple times! I don't care if you read the blog or not, just visit it ten times daily and click every ad that shows up on it! Make a game out of it somehow, like, how many different ads will Google put in there for you to click?

you'll think of something; you're creative

Faith of the Nightrider

Sorry, but I'm not talking about David Hasselhof's personal theology, or anything nearing the worship of K.I.T.T. (though really, that's one badass car). I'm talking about what it's like to ride at night, with cars warping time as they fly by, and with a tiny dot of visible road ten feet ahead at unbelievable speeds. In those moments, I am reminded of how gooey I am, really. And I'm reminded how the difference between my bike and a spear, is as little as a crash at the right speed and angle to impale me.

But hey, that's half the point!

Truth is, I took up cycling as an adult just two years ago, so I'm still a noob to it all. But part of why I took it up was because I started making a conscious effort to live more dangerously... riskily... or boldly... however you wanna put it, I wanted to do stupid, reckless stuff. Like riding at stupid speeds down a tight, muddy hillside in the middle of a thunderstorm. Or like the time I ended up waist-deep in the middle of basically rapids, holding my bike above my head, with the pebbles beneath my feet quickly slipping away, one at a time. Or like night-riding.

To be fair, it's not that stupid. It's not, as long as you're well enough equipped or accessorized. You know, lights and whatnot. I, however, am questionably equipped, and there are several points where I scan the roadside for bail-out areas if I should suddenly hit a pothole at thirty thousand miles per hour and have to jump toward something softer than asphalt.

But the entire process of doing reckless things has a few interesting results. First of all, I start to feel indestructible. I spend a lot of my thoughts reminding myself that I have health insurance, and that I can recover from pretty much anything that can happen to me, and I have a lot of practice keeping myself from thinking about getting trapped under a car's drive wheel for five miles. And that, folks, that's an important life skill. Practical and applicable.

Something else, though, it does to me. With a mediocre or just plain bad light, you never see what's coming until it's too late. So I plan and keep my eyes open, looking for any sign of cracks or potholes well ahead of me so I can react in time. But when it comes down to it, I never have more than a fraction of a second to react, and that's so much like life in general. I make all my plans, do my best to see the future, do my best to make my future happen, plan for the worst and hope for the best. But when it comes down to it, I'm riding through life, downhill, at breakneck speeds and leaning over the handlebars, with no time to react.

Now that's an exercise in faith. Take that, Hoff (not K.I.T.T. though, I won't mess with him).